Want Closure? Start with Your Legs

I figured I needed to blog about something, so I did my usual black book searches on various websites. While I’ve heard about Big Boom before, I guess I never realized just how “big” his books are. Is it important to note that he’s an Essence Bestseller? I guess. Read their interview if you’re so intrigued.

It’s obviously a slow day in black book news. 😦

Oddest book title: Want closure? Start with your legs

Self-help book, written by a man ‘for the benefit of women’ wins contest

Good advice? Maybe. Oddest book title of 2007—that’s official.”If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs” has won the Diagram Prize for the oddest title of the year, The Bookseller magazine announced Friday.Big Boom, the apparently pseudonymous author, calls it a “self-help book, written by a man for the It’s a book, he writes, that is “raw, honest and about you,” distilling “the sweat off my back, the wrinkles in my forehead from anger and thinking all the time.” The title triumphed in a public vote over runner-up “I Was Tortured by the Pygmy Love Queen” and the third-place finisher, “Cheese Problems Solved.” The winner, ‘If You Want Closure,’ makes redundant an entire genre of self-help tomes,” said Joel Rickett, deputy editor of The Bookseller. “So effective is the title that you don’t even need to read the book itself.” (Source)

I’m not a grammar guru myself, but is it okay that MSNBC’s Today (or Associated Press rather) puts book titles in quotations? I started to edit it here for them, but again, what do I know?

If I didn’t provide an excerpt of Big Boom’s book, well, this just wouldn’t be Black Girl Lost, now would it? I’m not recommending it or anything . . . but maybe somebody out there has read his works and will consider commenting on this topic.

One

BOOM’S PERSONAL MESSAGE

When a man moves too fast and has multiple, meaningless partners, he’s only bursting blood cells and allowing bad energy to enter the woman.

I’ve had good women, bad women, and sometimes I’ve had both at the same time. In my past, I searched for women who were whores.

I looked for women who sold their bodies and gave men their money, their food stamps, and their welfare checks. I even dated women who strip-danced. Throughout all of this I’ve found that opposites attract, but a whore who acts right and also has your back, she’s hard to find.

I’ve gone as far as to make women have sex with other women and do what I want them to do, just to make me happy. I’ve had women who would do stupid stuff just because I asked them to do it and they wanted me around.

For about forty-seven years of my life, I was attracted to these kinds of women…whorish women…women I could have fun with. I would put women together and watch them go at it. To me it was fun having them do wild and crazy things. Now, I’m attracted to women with qualities that are totally opposite to those kinds of women.

I dated a young lady in the cocaine world for a few years, so I’ve seen and done it all. During this time all I did was spend money. Women would make the money and I would spend it. I was a very uncontrollable guy during that time of my life.

Through the years, when I was about forty-seven years old…No!…I’ll say at the age of forty-five, I started wanting to change, but I didn’t know how to change, and when I began making changes my friends would say, “We’re losing you…we’re losing another soldier, we’re losing another man, we’re losing another good one.” This would cause me to jump back on their side and that caused me to get back into the game. I was in the game a long time and many things that it brought to my life I’ll discuss in this book.

(Read more if you dare . . . )

Big Boom, self-proclaimed “Bodyguard for Women’s Hearts,” (if they purchase his book I guess) is also the author of How to Duck a Suckah: A Guide to Living Drama-Free which is surprisingly published by Simon & Schuster.

Happy reading ya’ll (even if it’s not Big Boom)!

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6 thoughts on “Want Closure? Start with Your Legs

  1. Did you know…when he’s not penning instant-classics, Mr. Boom is Steve Harvey’s bodyguard. We sure love our side hustles! I ain’t mad at him, though…

    Like

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